There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"
The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.
We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...
At first, Hua Cheng mostly gives off the impression of a normal over-protective broody love interest in a romance novel, overly paranoid over anything that might potentially hurt Xie Lian, but then you get to the White Clothed Calamity arc and realize, oh god, oh fuck, that’s actually a completely reasonable response to having to watch someone go through that, he’s actually showing remarkable restraint by allowing Xie Lian to go off and do his own thing as much as he does
Guys okay I’m looking for fics and I’m desperate
-dick Grayson
-not batfamily
-little to no Batkids involved (some Jason but not the focus)
- titans
-titans
- titans
GIVE ME THE CORE 5
GARTH WALLY DONNA ROY AND DICK
GIVe ME RAVEN AND DICK
I need you all to understand that Donna Troy and dick Grayson is adoration boring on fanatical
They
L
O
V
E
Each other sm and they need so much more fanon about it plz god
tumblr should have an ” i feel u” button on posts
Dick's "little brother nickname" for Duke is Night-light send post
Dick Grayson ships in order of how toxic you should write them as adults in an established relationship imo (no batcest and we can discuss the harem at a later time)
Least
Dick X Wally: this is the quintessential friends to lovers story it’s adorable. Naturally a lil bit of toxicity bc nightwing is not a healthy person but still the ratio is 99% cute and 1% angst as adults. Feel free to angst away with the Robin/KF thing
Worlds where this is cute: young justice, earth prime pre Wally meeting Linda.
Dick X Kori: listen to me, if you ignore all the shitty writing (yes the babs wedding thing) they r perfect <3. The only person who I believe can be the lights light ya know. The broke up because they both took hits they couldn’t recover from but they still love each other and they’re my favorite canon pairing they should get back together and have a kid and be a cute lil family.
Worlds where this is cute: TT, Earth prime, DCAU, injustice, titans tomorrow, Lego Batman (every single earth actually)
Dick X Zatanna: cute, childhood crush turned sweethearts turned friends nothing to say here I just don’t think it would be toxic
Worlds where this is cute: young justice
Worlds where this should never happen: all the rest (she dated his dad)
Dick X Joey: I love them so I’m biased their relationship is on par with Dick and Wally taking field trips in the 80s. Also this is joeys most popular ship and that makes me laugh. BUT ANYWAY they’re just very homoerotic and I feel like they respect each other enough the toxicity would be on the lower side.
Worlds where this is cute: literally anytime before he possesses his dad’s body.
Times this is concerning: post possessing nightwings body (anyone remember that happening I just ignore it now, cuz I hate the whole evil Joey thing but if you wanna take this ship from 30% toxic to 140% write it post possession with the dude who had autonomy issues)
Dick x Kara: I just feel like the hero worship would get in the way a little bit
Worlds where this is cute: worlds finest
Worlds where this isn’t: the rest
Dick x Roy: I love them sm ur honor (despite how low I’m putting this, it’s one one my top ships) listen Dick and Roy adore each other and would die for each other, but the baggage?? The years of expectations?? The fights??? The fact that Dick gets more and more closed off when he’s mad usually but him and Roy in the same room and fists fly?? But the only people who can talk to Dick when he’s spiraling are Roy and Donna. Like ROY HARPER is one of Dick people!! You don’t understand how much I love how they can hurt each other while loving each other so so so much. They cause me pain. I don’t believe they’d ever mellow out Dick and Wally tho bc they’re whole relationship is heated they have never had a chill emotion about each other in their history of being characters that exist in the same space.
Worlds where this is cute: literally any world where the titans exist/have existed with speedy and Robin as core members
Worlds where no?: new 52 (I hate new 52 and ignore it tho so no universe sucks bc new 52 isn’t real and can’t hurt me)
Dick X Harley Quinn: see I hated this ship and I hate it in canon but I once read a fic that was good enough I now ship it on the dl and think it would be good for Harley to be with someone who can be a safety net. But like this is AU rare pair type shit and it’s low bc I literally cannot picture a canon universe where this isn’t the most toxic thing ever.
Worlds where yes: DCAU (AU) not even the canon one like the AU of the AU that is the DCAU (take a shot Everytime I say AU)
Dick X Shawn Tsang: I’m sorry yall Shawn was such a boring character I forgot she existed but I remember that she broke up with him after he lost his memory cuz she thought he was ghosting her and like not only does it feel like she just existed to give dick a love interest. Also this comic featured the character death wing and so it’s so low not bc the ship sucks except it does bc why dick?? Are you dating someone who hates heroes?? Why r u like this??? Stopppp but also bc imo the ship has a white bread type of content that is toxic to me personally and that’s more important.
Dick x Bea Bennet: I loved them sm in the beginning, best part of the Ric Grayson arc and then they added the spyral ties and made her a pirate and tbh that ruined it for me. Dick and Bea only work as a cute relationship if Bea is a way out or a window into the outside world like something to ground the man who is always trying to get his feet off the ground. It would be interesting. But now she’s just another another relationship where he didn’t know who he was dating and tbh I don’t think he’d be down for that post literally everything that’s ever happened to him romantically after the age of 16
Dick Babs: yes it’s this low, no I will not change it. It should be lower but I used to ship this so it’s only my fond memories keeping it this high. Babs slept with his father after dating him in at least 2 universes. Dick left Gotham for freedom and she quite literally drags him back Everytime they’re together it feels like about 30 years of Dicks character development is erased. And let’s not talk about Barbara used to be a congress woman Gordon. They deaged her to make her a decent love interest for someone who was a kid when she was running for congress. And because of the fact their characters don’t naturally balance out the way some of his other canon ships do (Bea, Shawn, KORI(the best canon ship imo), hell even Helena) it leads to the characters becoming flanderizations of themselves. Dick is a loveable himbo whose only defining characteristic is his ass and I hate to say it Barbara Gordon literally just turns into female Bruce and I hate it so much but genuinely read though some of their older stuff it’s like..ugh. Anyway I hate this ship I think it’s bad for both of them and while I’m not babs biggest fan I still like her and she and Dick should be best friends who get drunk on weekends and shit talk the bats and their respective teams (titans, birds of pray)
Dick X Helena bertinelli: yall wtf is this ship, if this is your main ship? Why? Tell me? Like what?? Helena??? Esp prime earth Helena?? He has more chemistry with midnighter than her (but we are not discussing the harem so I will remain silent)
Now the most toxic ship that isn’t incestuous is so obvious bc no one has ever pictured this ship with a modicum of health in it except its creator (derogatory) I’m 99% sure every single fic tagged this also has the domestic violence tag
Dick X Catalina Flores. Yeah no a billion times no this shit is so toxic the jack Napier fell into it and became the joker. This shit so toxic it only serves as a trauma boat for another person to swoop in and get him out I hate this so much.
Now dick is an old character so he has about a billion other relationships. But these are either the recent ones (Shawn, Bea) or the ones that have a lot of ao3 clout (birdflash) or something that makes my heart soft (dick and Joey) plus his most iconic 2 pairing I will not be getting into characters like Daphne, Clancy or Betty or anything else or the creepy ones like the fact he’s had shit with both catwoman and taila.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk
it's so wild to me that you absolutely cannot force a hyperfixation to happen. like you'll watch the most perfectly tailor-made-for-you content that everyone says you'll love and feel absolutely nothing, and then the thing you watch on a whim to fill time will reach through the screen and put its damn fingers in your brain and start rearranging the neurons right in front of you and every single time you're like THIS??? THIS??????? and this happens like every 6-12 months forever
hiii same anon who recommended that one fic ( i am really glad you liked it btw)
https://www.tumblr.com/theerurishipper/752161267004948480/twitter-au-masterpost
this one is not exactly a fic ( well it is on ao3 but there is not all the parts) it is a twitter au and i think you’d like dick’s characterization in this i really liked reading it ( it is a lot more lighthearted than the fic i sent obv 😭)
10/10 exactly the vibe I needed after the fuckfest today
I need about 40 more chapters
And yes I love My boy (also a big fan of the fact that he isn’t really on social media bc I love that for him)
Thank you so much anon it was lighthearted and funny and yeah a lil more on the batfamily fluff than I usually prefer but honestly I rlly enjoyed the character writing as well !!
Me: I really like dc canon and frankly I think that fanon flanderizes the characters to the point where they are unrecognizable
Also me: Dick and Jason are drinking buddies,
Tim has put kon, Bernard and Steph in a gc called “the roster” and dipped.
Dick is not allowed to meet Barbara’s friends bc they all like him too much and then it’s rlly hard to bitch about him. (This is actually kinda canon thank u Dinah lance in birds of pray lmao)
The reverse of this is also true but for Dicks exes and Barbara like they get along TOO well.
Babs and Kori are friends.
Babs and Donna are sworn enemies. (Mutual)
Dick gets a different signature food with each of his siblings except Steph cuz they get smoothies. 
Dick keeps trying to get Steph and Donna to meet up but Everytime he tries Gotham gets blown up
Damian refuses to sneak pets in a trench coat bc it’s bad for them to be squished.
Duke is the only bat who knows about the mpreg joker story
Tim and Jason’s only texts to each other are “help” or “you lil shit what did you do!!?!”
Tim, Jason, Cass and Duke all like the discowing suit
Steph and Damian hate it
Damian says he’s spending the weekend not with his dad and everyone assumes Bruce and talia are trying split custody but he needs to bitch about Bruce so he goes to bludhaven
Donna and Dick get drunk together and get progressively more and more sappy about how they should move in together and how much they love each other, you’re amazing no you’re amazing.
Roy and Dick are besties who text like a divorced couple trying to coparent
Dicks exes are in a discord server called “raw. next question” and they have channels called “red heads only” “also dated his brother” “tried to kill him” etc
The redheads don’t have names in this discord “redhead 1” “red head 2” “redhead 3” and so on
They also don’t discuss dick in this server at all
Bruce calls dick for ideas about the Brucie Wayne persona and also when he just doesn’t get why people are mad at him.
Dick calls wally for help with menial tasks
Tim is a big big big fan of THC (same)
Dick goes to raves
Jason is actually the DARE Robin
An image of Dick at a rave went viral on Twitter and Bruce had a mental breakdown so did Jason
Stephanie will never ask Bruce for anything but she buys a 10$ coffee every morning on his card bc of that video of people saying young people can’t buy houses bc of Starbucks and avocado toast.
Jason has a video of 19 yr old Dick spitting at a police officer and he sent it on the family gc when he found out dick went undercover as a cop. It is one of 5 messages he has sent.
Everyone of the Bats is some shade of bisexual
Dicks house is the defacto Bruce is being a lil bitch for the bats and literally everyone who is affiliated with Bruce as long as you bring liquor you’re welcome
Garth and Dick watch sad movies together
Tim and Bruce watch all the bond films together
Damian and Dick watch bird documentaries together
Jason doesn’t watch tv bc he’s a secret hipster (he doesn’t have a tv they keep blowing up.)
Linda has absolutely asked Dick to swing with her and Wally and Dick told Wally about this and Wally’s only reaction was…”soooo is that a yesss or a no?”
The fab 5 titans all hate each others exes, refuse to acknowledge any guilt their friend had in the matter , and will absolutely pretend none of them have dated (they have all dated)
Bruce is in absolute denial that his children date. Like he knows dick has dated people but he assumes that it is kindergarten dating “ah dick spent the night at Barbara’s they must really like holding hands” “Bernard and Tim are moving so fast I mean I saw one of them kiss the other on the cheek??” Meanwhile he has traumatized all robins to ever Robin bc him and Selina Kyle can’t keep their hands right themselves
Also me: cognitive dissonance thank you for your service
Dick has like 25million ig followers, donna does his photos
Tim has a very popular shitpost account on Twitter from his pre Robin days that has statements like “if i was Batman I would simply barricade Arkham” and “stalking Nightwing rn we are up to 120 flips and 30 quips…. There is no else here”
I write bad Dick Grayson and TMA fanfiction on ao3 follow me @imtired_likerllytiredI literally keep creating and deleting accounts on this hellsite lurker since age 8
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