Can I Just Say How Much It Hurts To Read This?? This Is A Kid, Barely 18 Years, And Caught Up In An Unfinished
can i just say how much it hurts to read this?? this is a kid, barely 18 years, and caught up in an unfinished vendetta of the adults around him. you can literally feel how confused he gets as the chapters go on and when it gets to the climax and you read this... goodness, it gets real. like you understand how fucked up this all actually is.
i cannot stress this enough that he is a kid. a kid and he watched as the uncle he loved and respected and admired and held upto a standard, the only adult who seemed to truly understood jin ling, who saw how lonely he was and got him a puppy because he couldn't make friends, confess that he was the one behind so much of the disasters and deaths that occurred around him. not only that, but jin ling realizing that the smile his uncle puts on his face is fake. that he can lie so boldly and without a second thought. that maybe he lied about everything; maybe this person isn't who he says he is. all of this in just a matter of seconds.
and then we get to the foundation of his character. in the beginning, jin lings character was all about revenge. for himself, for the death of his parents. all he carried inside of him was hate. it also probably didn't help that jiang cheng was grieving for his sister and his parents at the same time while punishing any could-be wei wuxian. seeing these things, how could jin ling not hate the people who caused him to lose so much?
and now, there is all these conflicting feelings about who the true murderer is. he knows wei wuxian is the yiling patriarch and involved in the death of his parents but he's spent far too much time with him to hate him now and knows that it wasn't really his intentions in the first place. the guy is actually very likeable and has helped jin ling in all the times that they have met. wen ning who was the cause was merely a corpse out of control at the time. he also feels a lot of guilt towards it. as much as those things didn't excuse the murder of his parents, it wasnt reason enough for revenge either.
and jin guang yao, who he thought was kind and genuine. turning out to be a fake. all the likeness he has for his uncle in the past, should he turn it into hatred now? but he really can't. or rather, the past 16 years of positive memories are winning over the hatred of a minute.
so who should he hate now?
because he didn't deserve anything that happened to him. his parents didnt deserve it too. so who should he hate now? who should he exact his revenge upon? who should he blame?
he cries. because these are all heavy emotions and complex feelings for a kid. all the anger inside of him, the pain of being deceived, pouring out of him the only way it can. it is weak and jin ling probably shouldn't cry in front of so many people but he can't help it anymore. he doesn't want to let go of the hate he's nurtured for so long yet he doesn't have the energy anymore, nor does he have anyone to put the blame on.
and then there are those three words that just really tugs at my heart - "he felt wronged".
p.s: the scene where he is unable to look and listen as his uncle takes his last breath. chills.
jin ling is my fav character from mdzs and i just wanted to make a post to appreciate him. he is honestly so underappreciated. the way his character develops from just a really angry child to a child wounded by the actions of others is just *chefs kiss* he is so traumatized i wanna wrap him up in a blanket and hug him for eternity 🥺🥺ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
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Everyone: It's the founding members of Toman! Woahh they're hella intimidating. Wonder what they're like together...
The founding members:
The last one was the day Draken went on a date with Emma and you can see how hell went down. Poor Mitsuya stayed up late the night before to complete a project so he can't even comprehend his friends' stupidity. Yeah Mikey's clicking a selfie to send to Draken.
The little troublemakers of Toman:
And just how I anticipate the Mitsuya and Hakkai vs Haitanis will go. Like, I very much expect Ran will say something flirtatious stupid and Mitsuya will go, "man you really are annoying" :
All credit for art goes to respective artists, source: Tumblr, pinterest, Twitter.
babe wake up, keshi just dropped his debut album
I'm not the first person who said it but...
im so tired of never being the first choice. im so tired of craving intimacy so desperately and never having it within arms reach. im so tired of keeping all this anger and sadness and confusion as well as joy and happiness and love inside of myself, never with someone to share. im so tired of reaching out and caring for others and never receiving anything back. im so tired of smiling and nodding and shaking hands while my back hurts and my waist feels empty. im so tired of crying myself to sleep, wrapping my arms around myself because i dont have anyone to share my bed with. im so tired.
it's so mindblowing to me that there are ppl who arent obsessed with the shows or movies they watch or who arent in like any fandoms. like my friends are so nonchalant about the show they've watched or manhwa they've read because what's ??? the ??? point ??? if ??? your ??? not gonna??? squeal and giggle and kick your feet when a character does something nice for their loved ones???!?!?!?!!?!?!?!
WHATS THE POINT IF YOU DONT INTERNALISE A CHARACTERS PERSONALITY TO THE POINT THAT YOU JUST CONSIDER THEM AS YOUR OWN CHILD???!! WHATS THE POINT IF YOU DONT SHARE THEIR PAIN??? IF YOU DONT CRY WHEN THEY CRY???
the eldest daughter in me loveeeeeessssss the age-gap trope but the eldest daughter in me also lovvvvvvvvveeessss the found family trope but the eldest daughter in me also loveeeeesss the sunshine x grumpy trope but the eldest daugh-
romantic or not, i really like the bond mitsuya and yuzuha have. something that really struck this thought was mitsuya saying how much he respects yuzuha for what she has done for hakkai. they are both the older siblings to their youngers ones, are protective and caring and loving, have to bear the responsibility of being a parent at a young age. they both know what it takes to be the shield for thier younger siblings. they both know how tiring it is, how much it hurts, how much one requires energy and the patience, how much they have to sacrifice themselves for the safety and happiness of their loved ones.
i really love that mitsuya recognizes the situation yuzuha is in because he himself has been in that same situation. its saying 'i know what youve been through, ive been there before, and youre so brave for being so strong. rest now, ill take care of things from here.' and yuzuha is so happy, so relieved, for being so appreciated because for so long it was kept a secret that she was the one taking taijus punches for hakkai. now theres someone who knows how exactly it feels like.
they both love their siblings and would do it all over again if it is to ensure their happiness and safety. but in the process theyre both starving themselves of their own happiness.
i relate to them so much it hurts.
idk what this acc is for anymore. student/part-time ponderer/part-time singer. 19.
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