Same

dazatsu angst 😔😔😔

yoinked the audio from here.

Their Luffy preference

Huh…. Where did he learn those from

Lily’s Ghost That Hunts Them 6

Draco: *smiles smugly*

Filch: *enrage* Listen here you lil’shit-

Hermione: *holding Harry back*

(A loud whistle)

All: *looks arounds* ???

(A gigantic boulder hit the ground between them all, inches from their noise)

Filch: Lily Evens! She has returned! *takes off screaming*

Draco: *piss his pants, sobbing*

(2 minutes earlier)

Ron: *levitating a gigantic boulder from his dorm’s window* Is this good?

Neville: *using Ron’s binoculars* A little more to the right.

Ron: Got it!

Seamus: *panicking a little* Whatchu got there?

Ron/Neville: A smoothie. *takes a sip out of their cup*

subscribing to a fic isn’t enough I need the author to blast a bat signal into the night sky whenever they update

I saw a tiktok about Ron yelling at Hermione and embarrassing her in public (he would never), and Draco punching him in the face and I am so. Tired.

Like. We’ve already established that once Ron is committed to his relationship with Hermione, he’s peak husband material. He’s lovely. Househusband extraordinaire. But the idea of Draco Malfoy beating him up???

I like Draco as much as the next person, but we need to acknowledge that he’s a lil bitch. Every time he pisses someone off, he eats shit. Ron beats that twink into the ground on the regular. Come on people, let’s be real.

Ron: Ah! An ugly, disgusting spider!

Spider: Ah! A depressed bitch.

Ron:

Spider:

Ron: *pulls out his wand*

One Second Later

Ron:

Lily's Ghost That Haunts Them

Ron:*Standing in front of Harry with a broken leg, mangle arm from being bit and ready to throw down* You wanna go bro? You wanna go down?! I can take you! Kick your arse! You wanna kill Harry? Y'all got to kill us all! Come at me you lily-white, ugly arse-

Harry:*panicking, trying to get Ron to sit and off his broken leg* Oh fucking Merlin! Ron! Ron! No bad Ron! *Struggling* Calm down please!

Ron: No balls, nipples hanging, skinny twink!

Sirius: *having multiple horrifying flashbacks to when Lily Evans starting fights in righteous anger over her friends all throughout Hogwarts with James Potter trying to calm her down in a panic*

Sirius: Welp…I lived an okay life.

Ron: I don’t need a bloody wand to-

Hermione: *covering her face in embarrassment and fear* Shhhh Ron, no, please! Stop egging the bloody serial killer! Ronald!

Ron: *lets out a scream as he tackles a shrieking Sirius*

Remus/Severus/Peter: *Flashback to when 4’9 first year Lily taking on a guy twice her height and weight….and winning* Bloody fuck…

Thing Humans Have Definitely Said to Aliens:

"Crewmate John, by the Old Ones I cannot convince my hatchling to consume his vegetables."

"Push the fork towards their mouth and tell them it's an airplane."

"What the f-"

"Tell them. It's an airplane."

Dazatsu Month 2025 Day 3 - Kidnapped

This is my contribution to 'accidentally kidnapping mafia boss' prompt because it's so them