Dogra: How The Hell Are You Still Alive?

I have so many WIPs that if only I knew how to work with myself, I’d have finished or at least made sm progress. I’m trying to actually plan my fanfic now but am struggling. Some of these WIPs will never see the light of day so I’m thinking of just posting them as prompts or headcanons

Shout out to my writers that don’t plan their fics at all. Readers be like “I can’t wait to find out what happens next!”

Babe me too

Dabi: I'm going to take you out.

Hawks: Like, as in, a date, murder, or garbage?

hi tumblr so ive been thinking:

imagine having a secret admirer and they write love letters to you on a daily or maybe just 3 times a week or smth

and like one day they decide to confess to you by taking the stuff that they wrote in the letters and turning it into a song to play for you JEHRKSFBDB

Gen is a total therapy friend

Some flower pieces 😌🌷🌸🌺🪷🌼🪻💐✨

I can't believe I'm crying over Amber Volakis

Contradictions

I'm the very embodiment of contradictions. The physical manifestation of duality molded into a body. I am the adjective of two extremes. To describe me is to confuse oneself, to describe me is to describe everything and nothing. I feel inferiority just as I feel superiority. I'm the most evil nice person to exist for there are equal amounts of nicety than there is evil in me. I am sinful saint. I utter the words of a god that my heart oozes no faith for, yet any arguments of my god's existence fills me with a rage like a devout.

I grieve no one and everyone. My heart beats no care or love for any entity be it my family or my friends or a lover that never will exist for my heart will hold nothing but apathy. Yet. My words and my actions are devotions of a semblance of a love that I do not feel. My thoughts are dedicated for them as if I am driven by love—yet my heart beats nothing but pumped blood.

I understand myself very well, the only person to ever understand me. Though I confuse myself all the time. I am so inexplicable that I am only explained by my name. My name is all the explanations one needs, every nuances of my being—blurred and confusing it may be for anyone but me. They explain me by uttering my name, chalk it up to [—] being [—] as if that's the only explanation for my behavior and my words and my expressions.

People talk about me as if they can understand me, as if their words are true. It is not. Even those that hold the title of my closest friend always gets it wrong. They say my name as if it explains it all despite them not knowing what it is that's actually being explained by the simple whisper of my name.

What's in a name, I wonder?

Because it definitely is not understanding.

My hair is desperate.

It curls in on my face, my curtain bangs swoop in. Windy, rainy, sunny, no matter when, my hair always cover my face. With or without my consent. It's desperate. It's desperate to hide my face.

It doesn't matter if I tie my hair back, hair would always fall down to face; my hair would curl inwards until it stabs at every inch of my cheeks, my nose, my forehead, my eyes.

My hair feels desperate.

Desperate to hide my face.

I wonder if my mind had grown to hate my face so much that even the dead cells of my hair are desperate to hide it. To stab it like they're needles that can change my face with enough attacks.

My bangs feel desperate to hide my eyes. As if it knew it were the windows to my soul and it wants to hide it, to let it live and disappear in the shadows of them, of my bangs.

As if it was so ashamed of my soul, of me, that it would try to hide it at all cost, at any time of any given day. From the moment I wake up, it will fall to cover my face. And from the moment I sleep, it'll fall down to cover my face already shadowed by the darkness of my room.

My hair is desperate.

And ashamed.

An Atrocity of a Piece

In the silence of the night,

With all the stars shining bright,

The silken sheets encirling my pale skin,

Fiery ginger hair was all that was to be seen.

I close my eyes to dream,

And see your bright blue eyes gleam;

Your haunting makes me frown,

The sunlight behind you like a crown.

I despise the way you beleaguer me,

Holding me in captivity;

With unrealistic fantasies,

Of what could-be's .

It makes me despise you,

The way I want it so badly to be true;

But alas, it is one of the many could-be-nots,

And I will weep in my head full of thoughts.

Thoughts, and fantasies, and imaginations,

Of us and our destinations,

Of domestic bliss

Sealed with a passionate kiss.

Yes, I despise you,

None else could be as true.

For in you, I see a fanatical future,

For you, I become a delusional creature.

Almost driven to madness like my aunt,

While you glower and frown and taunt

At all my sneers and jeers and leers,

My affections become clear to I through the years.

I can only wish that to you, it is as clear,

Yet the fact it is not shall abate my fear,

As knowing will surely be a recipe for grief,

For who, I do not know and it is a relief.

For I despise you,

And I love you.

And such is forbidden for us two,

So I can only dream of your eyes so blue.

“At a Distance, Spring is Green” is a K-drama that holds a special place in my heart. I think the way it portrayed youth—with its shadows and lights—was beautiful, it felt like such an introspective drama that made me feel something not quite nostalgic, but a sense of understanding and made me think of youth. I think a lot of lessons can be taken from this drama, there is a lot to learn from the characters and their philosophies and ideologies, and their growth.

I know that almost everything that everyone has been talking about when it comes to this K-Drama is the fact that it’s the most BL not-BL drama ever, or how it should be a BL. But, as for me, I don’t really care that it isn’t a BL and I’m a huge fujoshi. I admit, I think that adding an LGBT plotline to it can add a lot more, there is a lot to explore in an LGBT plotline especially being in a conservative country like Korea and having Yeo Jun’s circumstances. But, “At a Distance, Spring is Green” is more than that.

It’s a story about falling in love, about being young, about learning to let go, about friendships, about family, about the light at the end of the tunnel, about the darkness in each of us, about forgiveness, about moving on, about finding happiness, about life circumstances. It’s not just about romance. It is inherently more than that. Honestly, it’s very underrated and I hope more people can watch it and enjoy the nuances of it and the messages that each character can dish out.

I think the team did such a fantastic job at portraying youth. And a lot of the dialogues have made me think about things.

So, hopefully, people start watching it.

TW: depictions of domestic violence and child abuse