It’s DOOOOONE! It’s Finally Finished! Oh My Gosh, What A Journey This Has Been! I Started Concept

this was amazing

I think a lot about The Bathroom Scene™ and how Kaz's selfless actions towards Inej are contrasted with their discussion about whether he's any different from Pekka, but Chapter 26 as a whole also does a lot to show how much Kaz cares about all of his Crows and not just Inej. He spends a lot of time in that chapter thinking about how he's probably about to die, and yet he does everything in his power to make sure his Crows get out alive.

He specifically zeroes on Inej's safety, of course (because when isn't Kaz focused on her?) but his actions, dialogue, and internal monologue are all entirely centered around how guilty he feels for getting everyone into this mess and how desperate he is to make sure he's the only collateral damage of his own scheme at the end of the day:

Kaz sits down and (more or less) fully explains his entire plan to the Crows instead of keeping them in the dark

Kaz gives Jesper's dad the only protection he's still able to give: his own family's name and reputation

Kaz ruminates on why he called Jesper by his brother's name and implicitly acknowledges that it's because he's scared to recognize Jordie in Jesper (that he's afraid to lose another brother)

Kaz thinks "But they’d landed in a trap, and if he had to chew his paw off to get them out of it, then that was what he would do."

Kaz pays off Inej's contract by liquidating "every asset he had" and explicitly tells her "I don't want you to be beholden to Per Haskell. Or me."

Kaz tells Inej about his emergency money stash and charges her with getting everyone out of the city safely if he doesn't come back from the Slat

Kaz tells her "Whatever happens to me, survive this city. Get your ship, have your vengeance, carve your name into their bones. But survive this mess I’ve gotten us into."

Kaz leaves on a suicide mission, telling Inej not to follow, because if he's going to die he wants to be the only one in active danger

And of course Kaz had already offered to serve himself up on a silver platter to the stadwatch and give them a way out even before he came up with the auction plan (though we don't get Kaz's point of view of The Clocktower Fight, I suspect it's also why he picked that fight with Jesper: he knew Jesper would never leave him to die unless he made him mad enough to "walk away" for once in his life).

What separates Kaz from other Barrel Bosses like Pekka isn't just that he would never sell a person or con/otherwise harm children. It's that at his lowest, when all the bravado and scheming and masks are stripped away, Kaz chooses to put himself on the line and sacrifice his own safety over putting his people in any more danger than they have to be. Because despite his ruthlessness and casual assholery, Kaz simply doesn't have it in him to watch those he cares about get hurt if he can prevent it. He ended Chapter 26 saying he intended to leave damage behind when he's gone, but also spent the entirety of the Geldrunner chapters spending time and effort and money he didn't have to minimize the damage as much as possible for his friends (his new family) if the worst should happen to him.

So he gives them a safe place to land where the gangs won't find them. He tries to push them away and make them mad enough that they won't grieve him when he dies. He gives them multiple ways out even if none of those options guarantee his own safety. He gives them money and as much safety as he can provide with the whole city out for their blood. He gives Inej her freedom. And he gives them time to rest, recharge, and prepare for whichever plan they end up doing while he goes off to stage a coup he's not sure he'll come back from.

This is all to say: Kaz could never be Pekka, no matter how tough of a game he talks about burning everything to the ground, because Kaz cares too much to ever become Pekka. Even as he continues to pretend not to care about anything but the money, his love for his city and his Crows are baked into every one of his thoughts and actions in those chapters. Unlike Pekka, who flees first Ketterdam and then Kerch entirely when his son is in (percieved) danger, Kaz stays to fight for the city he bent to his will. And unlike Per Haskell, who lets other people do his dirty work and sells out at the first opportunity for glory, Kaz puts himself on the front lines first even when doing so comes at a great cost to himself.

Pekka chases money and power for their own sake. Per Haskell chases money and power for the decadence, glory, and laziness it allows him to get away with. Kaz chases money and power because he knows what it's like to be powerless and wants to, in his own weird way, protect others from suffering his trauma and himself from losing anyone else he cares about. And that's why even at his most unhinged Kaz could never become Pekka Rollins: his quest for power and fame and riches comes from a fundamentally different place. Kaz Brekker doesn't need a reason, but he has at least five at all times during the course of the duology...and while those reasons are often filtered through his primary reason (Inej's freedom, safety, and happiness), none of them are ever far from his mind.

Weak Hero as Idols pt.3

Grape (Sam Lee)- Uses the stage name Grape and has matching hair. Looks away every single time he sees Wolf, who just smirks at him. Fans ship them because they don't know why. Is the visual and is proud of it; mans definitely has an intense skin care routine. Goes shirtless a lot to show off his abs. Has a reputation in the industry for being arrogant. Posts on Instagram a lot. Blocked Wolf on all social media accounts. Close with Eunchan, and is friendly rivals with Robin. Has gotten in a smoking scandal, and apologised, but didn't actually stop.

Wolf Keum- Very controversial but very popular. Has the thirstiest simps (me) and is known for his unique visuals. Rebels against his company and manager a lot but they don't say anything because they're scared of him. Has beef with plenty of other idols. Would go for a sexy/bad boy concept and rarely interacts with fans. He has also gotten into smoking scandals but unlike Grape and Gerard, he doesn't care and just continues. Openly shades other idols. You will never catch him in a dating scandal. Bullied Grape when they were trainees, and is known for being very stoic. Never does fanservice and his fans go crazy when his shirt lifts up slightly.

Jimmy Bae- Very problematic and openly beefs with Wolf Keum, and both of their fandoms hate each other. Probably has gotten cancelled at least five times but makes good music so people forgive him quickly. Posts thirst traps on Tiktok and does a lot of fanservice. Exposed for being a bully back in school but continues to make music anyways. Makes very loud and boppy rap music that his fans eat up. Has won several awards but his reputation is starting to decrease.

Donald Na- The face of Versace. Probably has a black card. Is an ace soloist who is good at everything. Has unique visuals. Is the same age as the others but started a company that the others belong to. Is slightly controversial because of all the tattoos that he has but is still highly loved. People love his outfits. Would have a sexy/mysterious concept. He has definitely done something like hiding in a bin to stay away from saesangs (stalkers). Kingsley is his manager. Has the thirstiest fans after Wolf Keum. You will never catch him doing aegyo.

Jake Ji- Rep is a lot better than his actual personality. He has never been in a scandal. His group is unproblematic and stylish. Owns a single snake for a pet that he wraps around his shoulders during lives. The ambassador of some famous brand. Treats fans like friends, but is actually closed off. Is the main rapper and the lead dancer. Reads manga at important events. Does fanservice sometimes. Never listens to his manager. Does controversial things like tweeting about BLM and holding up pride flags. More international fans than K fans. Throws on a hoodie and jeans and is worshipped as a 'fashion icon'.

Collective amnesia makes us feel as if there are no bi people in history. That is, until we see that bi people have been there all along, they’ve just been mislabeled or left out of the narrative. Bisexuality is the sexual and/or romantic attraction to multiple genders. Nestled within the term bisexual are other labels, including pansexual, omnisexual, and polysexual. Which term people use is almost entirely down to preference, although sometimes the choice is driven by an ahistorical misconception that the bi in bisexual reinforces a gender binary and excludes trans and nonbinary people.

One reason why we might “forget” bisexuals is because those who are attracted to people of multiple genders rarely call themselves bi. Historically, there have been a number of reasons for this, including wanting to avoid discrimination and stigma. There have long been toxic misconceptions of bisexual people as promiscuous and unfaithful, in a confused state of sexual transition or experimentation, lying about their attractions for attention or to attract men (particularly bi women), or simply adhering to some sort of trend (particularly young people).

Being bi could also get you kicked out of your local queer space. Bisexuality introduces nuance, which has always made it easier to discard than accommodate it. In tough times, when queer people were fighting for their lives and for basic legal protections, some gay rights groups strategically rejected bisexual people. For example, in the 1970s there were instances where the Gay Liberation Front, a queer-rights group, treated bisexual people as effectively straight, and thus associated them with regressive politics and edged them out of the organization.

But historians have never let a lack of self-labeling prevent them from trying to find queer people in history. People also shied away from terms like gay or lesbian, and yet we can find many books on their history. Still, it was only when I went back to university for a master’s in queer history that I realized that the absence of bisexuality in most versions of LGBTQ+ history wasn’t because there were no bi people in the past. Rather, that lack of knowledge is the result of an overcompensation for compulsory heterosexuality, which has meant that most people with homosexual desires in the U.S. were forced to live lives that involved heterosexual sex and relationships.

In the search for queer lives in the past, one way that academics have dealt with this is to assume that people who had any kind of same-sex desires or sex must have been gay or lesbian, even if they were also in heterosexual relationships. Partly because of this, the term bisexual is often entirely absent from historians’ writings. By doing so, we are systematically mislabeling people who were attracted to multiple genders, erasing bi history. When we untether bisexual people from their own past, we obscure the ways in which bisexuality is a cornerstone of the human experience.

Here are some important people in bi history you should know:

The bisexuality researchers you need to know

One of the earliest researchers to legitimize the study of bisexual people was Havelock Ellis (1859-1939). Ellis was based in the U.K., and in the 1927 edition of his book Sexual Inversion, he describes many case studies of bisexual people. He includes some negative stereotypes, but also some decidedly positive ones. For example, he wrote that bi women made “great religious and moral leaders.” It is these kinds of positive statements that led to the first edition of his book being ruled “obscene” in an English court because he dared to write about queer lives without condemning them. It took him multiple attempts to get the book published.

Probably the most famous sex researcher of all time was Alfred Kinsey (1894-1956). He was a biologist at Indiana University who introduced nuance into the discussion of sexuality. His Kinsey Scale allows us to categorize sexuality as a number between 0 and 6, from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual. In his famous mid-20th century studies, he shocked the world when he found that a huge number of people (he often stated “a quarter to half”) had homosexual and heterosexual desires. He also openly criticized other researchers who assumed that people could only be either gay or straight, and spoke of the “endless intergradations” that captured the reality of people’s sexualities.

Following in Kinsey’s footsteps, Fritz Klein (1932-2006) was a sex researcher and psychiatrist who published the book, The Bisexual Option, in 1978. He was a bisexual man himself, and he started a group for bisexual men to help them feel secure in their own sexuality; that practice grew into affirmative therapy that would help many people better understand their own sexual behaviors and identity. The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid is an expanded version of the Kinsey Scale. Klein also set up the Journal of Bisexuality and the American Institute of Bisexuality, which both continue to further bi research today. These organizations have been fundamental in giving a home to research and writing on bisexuality.

Bi activists who fought for queer rights

There have also been a number of tireless activists who have fought for queer and bisexual rights, including Brenda Howard (1946-2005). Howard is sometimes referred to as the “mother of pride” because after the Stonewall uprising, she played a major role in organizing the first marches of LGBT+ people, which laid the foundations for global Pride marches.

Another activist who worked in some of the same groups as Howard, and continues their work today, is Lani Ka’ahumanu (born in 1943). Ka’ahumanu has been a leader of the bisexual rights movement in the U.S. since 1980. She founded a number of groups that were specifically for bisexual people, which was particularly important given the shaky history between bi people and gay and lesbian communities. Ka’ahumanu created safe political spaces where bi people didn’t need to justify their sexuality or their inclusion. To this effect, in 1983, she co-founded BiPOL, one of the first bisexual political action groups in the country; she later co-coordinated the San Francisco Bay Area Bisexual Network. Ka’ahumanu is also a major reason why the B is included in LGBT, because of her campaigning in the leadup to the 1993 March on Washington.

Other people who are still fighting for bi visibility and protections today include activist Robyn Ochs, who wrote the most widely cited definition of bisexuality; New York Times columnist Charles Blow, who fights for bi visibility including in the Black community; and Kyrsten Sinema, who was the first openly bisexual person elected to Congress in 2012.

The main thing that people get wrong about the history of bisexuality is assuming that there is none. As more people embrace bisexual identities, I expect there will be a new thirst for knowledge, followed by a quenching wave of bisexual stories uncovered from the archives of history.

By uncovering previously untold accounts, and re-telling the stories of people previously too eagerly labeled gay and lesbian, bisexual people will finally be able to remember some of the pieces of their own history.

Dr. Julia Shaw is a criminal psychologist at University College London and part of Queer Politics at Princeton University which works for LGBT+ equality, democracy, and civil rights. She is actively involved in bisexual research and is the founder of the international Bisexual Research Group. Shaw’s latest book, Bi: The Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality, is set to be released on June 28.

FLAPPER FANNY SAYS, by American cartoonist, Ethel Hays (1892-1989).

One thing that like. shakes me to the core if I think about the radiant emperor duology. is how Zhu wanted to help Ouyang despite the betrayal, in a way that was more than just a convergence of their fates.

Two things: since the first book, we know they're similar, connected, and that Zhu feels this connection wholly with a fascination that slowly becomes more complicated. She is more open to the connection that Ouyang, because she embraces wholly who she is, knowing her otherness in a complete way that for Ouyang was only pain and self-hatred. Second, Zhu is incredibly strong, mentally and emotionally, in separing herself from those who aren't in her tightest circle. Shelley wrote in two beautiful separate instances in hwdtw how when you witness someone in pain, if you don't hate that person you will be contaminated by that pain, and Zhu has for most of the series such unflinching emotional fortitude that while she observes and acknowledges and fights for other's pain, she doesn't feel it herself, not completely. Book one ends with her killing a kid because he is in her way, we can't forget it.

Ouyang's grief, so potent throughout the entire second book, is fully understood by Zhu only when she loses Xu Da. And Xu Da's death, united with the connection Zhu and Ouyang have nurtured in their fucked up way of theirs, is enough that when Ouyang's deep-rooted disgust and refusal of femininity breaks their alliance, it doesn't break their connection. Sure, Zhu feels true betrayal, and mours the possibility of a future that Ouyang sees only for a brief moment, for himself after the end of his revenge, made possible by Zhu. But Zhu, who is so ruthless she is similar to a person who is more violence than humanity, kind of... pushes the betrayal aside. She will help him anyway. They have the same goal. She keeps on including him in her dream of a future, even after he betrayed her.

When she learns of Ouyang's death, she tries to be happy he at least got what he wanted, completed his fate. She wants his desire for revenge to have mattered for herself, to quench the doubt if everything she's doing is worth the pain, and for Ouyang, sadness in her heart. But she already knows somethins is wrong in the air, in the room where the Great Khan's blood ran down the tiles, and that's what makes me insane. Their bond didn't break when Ouyang rejected their sameness and betrayed her. The bond deteriorates only when his sacrifice was for nothing. Zhu aches for Ouyang. She carries his ghost with her and at the last moment, Ouyang would be her final weapon. Except we've seen how Xu Da's death changed things. How grief, for Xu Da and Esen, shaped Zhu and Ouyang forever. So the fact that the last thing Zhu does before starting her reign is fixing the bond, restoring it to its original resonance, is what proves she was going to forgive him, in a way. She was going to give him a place in the new world.

The entire book is a sequence of tragedies, created by love expressed too late, too little, love that was not enough, yet was also the cause of every tragic end. So there's a little love also in Ouyang and Zhu's tragedy, where their sameness wasn't enough, and Ouyang is the last piece of the old world, made better by Zhu's will for a better future.

Radiant Emperor Characters on the Barbie-Oppenheimer Scale

Zhu: Oppenheimer

Ma: Watched Oppenheimer with Zhu, then went to watch Barbie on her own

Xu Da: Barbie

Yuchun: Barbie

Ouyang: Oppenheimer

Esen: Oppenheimer. Brushed hands with Ouyang by accident in the darkened theatre. Thought nothing of it. Ouyang thought about it for the rest of the movie.

Baoxiang: Gathered his entire household for a public viewing of Barbie, watched Oppenheimer alone in private, then gathered everyone to watch Barbie again just to really drive the point home.

General Zhang: Watched Oppenheimer and then Barbie with Madame Zhang.

Madame Zhang: Watched Oppenheimer and Barbie with General Zhang. Then felt insecure and watched Oppenheimer again, alone.

Rice Bucket Zhang: Oppenheimer

Chen Youliang: Oppenheimer

Lady Ki: Barbie

Third Prince: Wanted to watch Barbie, but watched Oppenheimer with his friends instead.

♥

are you fucking kidding me

hey! i have breast cancer!

if anyone wants to help me out financially while i go through treatment with unpaid time off 🙈 here's my money apps

paypal: bastardquest

cash app: isterilelaki

please rb and help me out! at the moment im not eligible for disability so i really won't have anything if i'm not working 😔 please and thank you and i LOVE you 💖🙏💖

The universe pushes them together without their knowledge in completely different projections.

Somewhere they are chasing a serial killer, and both dying from bullets and injustice. Here they listen to the catchy tune while applying enormous amounts of eyeliner.

This is so ironic, Matt thinks, looking at Mello.

Mello always carries a rosary on his pistol with him. Of course, the God that Mello honors so much wouldn't like it... Matt is always smoking a nervous cigarette with the calmest and most imperturbable face.

Their attributes seem to be the red thread between them. It doesn't break.

They will always find each other.

inspired by NA NA NA - MCR

another version, less saturated