Thoughts On Beauty #3

I stole your name

From the gusts of wind

And wondered

If it was destiny?

When my sanity is tied so tightly to the notion

That you will always be mine

I hope you understand why I'm broken

When the strings of fate that tangled us together

Begin unraveling

Like the denumount of a bittersweet film

That I've seen coming but just can't bear to watch.

I've turned the ending in my mind

Like a smooth stone in my hand

Feeling for any scratch and mar

To justify holding on

Instead of skipping it on the surface of the sea.

-

5/14

The screen on the back porch tore last night

When the weather was so bad

My apathetic cat curled up beside me to ride out the storm.

You hated that cat but I called it mine

Long before I was yours.

We built the screen together "like a real couple"

The only project I ever talked you into.

I dreamed that we would sip our coffee in the morning air

Watching sunrise together, the two of us

With the cat purring in my lap.

We never used it once and you called it useless

And I didn't see the point in going out

If we didn't do it together.

But now the screen is ripped, the metal prongs pointed angrily at your chair.

It ripped

And you aren't here to fix it.

Staring here at the hole, sipping my coffee alone with that damn cat pawing at the mosquito that's breached containment

and I can't help but wish it all meant something

In the end.

-

Day 4/14

Bye, Deciever

Listen close

Carefully

I have to say something

But you wont want to hear it

Anymore than i want to say it.

I want to be more

Than you will let me be.

So please

Give me time

This time

Wait- are you listening?

This is what i mean

I need you to understand

I need you to see

I am small,

You've made me this way

I am meant to be invincible

But you got in the way.

I know you've been hur- are you joking?

This is my point!

You ignore me

You restrain me

Then you slaughter my pride.

Do you understa- LISTEN!

It takes more courage

Then i have to say this

But i will

Because i must

So if you ever loved me

Listen now

To my final words

That is, for you

Goodbye

The bloodiest hands

Are those of time.

As it passes

And the seasons change,

All things age

And die.

A metaphorical

Gun to my head

Threaten a fate

I would rather

Instead

A moment too soon

Or not soon enough

Maybe this metaphor

Is more real

Than I thought

Thoughts on Love #5

Love is a two way street.

The road is in the middle of nowhere, and a little bit bumpy. The speed limit is 60, but everyone goes 90. It has a few sharp turns, but everyone finds it more fun to nearly fly off the pavement. We drove, coming from opposite directions, and collided head on. That is the love I know from you: The bumpy, unpredictable, fast paced ride that takes me by surprise every time.

Am i a glass half emtpy

Or am i nearly full?

Or am i somehow

A shattered glass

Never to be filled at all

I look tenderly at the bluebells

For the first time in a while

I hope they know how well they are doing

How fast they are growing

And how beautiful they've become.

Lilac words

And lavender hallucinations

Illuminate a world

That is better off

Without me in it