James Wilson And Gregory House

Jesus, after coming back from the dead: hey guys it’s me Jesus, just look at the scars on my hands

Thomas, a known freak: show us the feet as well please

The exception is cheesy local commercials. Those should be the only ads. I will listen to someone who runs a store in my city doing an awkward rap. We once had a furniture store with these awful CGI ads and the slogan "where the deals are so low, it's almost criminal!" and then they got shut down, by the cops, because it turned out. It turned out the deals were so low because. You're not going to believe this but the prices were so low it was in fact

I love movies where the plot takes place in less than a day. It’s like. What if these people were experiencing the worst 8 hours of the entire lives and you got to see the highlight reel?

I deman you to do it ?

I think the sky is trying to say something? 🤔 👀 🏳️‍⚧️

If uppercase letters are capital letters then what the FUCK are lowercase letters

this is perhaps evil but I can boost my mood in almost any situation by playing a game called "what was my mom doing at this age?" like rn for instance I'm sleepy because I had a 12 hour work day + stayed up late, and my stomach hurts a little from the enormous chimichanga I smashed for dinner, and my head hurts a little bit from the fat margaritas I had with the chimichanga. and it's like hmm, okay, not optimal, but when my mom was this age she had a 2.5 year old to deal with. can you fucking imagine. can't stay in bed decadently bemoaning your overindulgences because there's a goblin in the next room that's utterly dependent on you for food and hygiene and social needs and if you drop the ball you've fucked up a perfectly good person. and I'm pretty normal so shout out to her for keeping it together but god that couldn't be me, I like fucking around way too much.

if a girl sends u saucy pics u gotta lose ur shit and act like u never seen a titty before its jus etiquette

So much queer discourse is just "i like pancakes" "so you hate waffles?" Type shit

"I believe mspec lesbians are valid" "so you think lesbians just need good dick?"

"I believe trans men can identify as lesbians if they want" "so you think trans men are women?"

"I believe transandrophobia exists" "so you think transfems oppress transmascs?"

No bitch that's a whole new sentence wtf are you talking about