Infinity War Shattered My Heart But Deadpool 2 Put It Back Together With Duct Tape And An Acoustic Version

I had a dream where Thanos was fighting Deadpool and he used The Snap™ but since it only killed a random 50% of the universe Deadpool survived by chance EVERY SINGLE TIME. He kept using it until they were the only two people left in the universe and eventually Thanos just gave up because there was a 50/50 chance he’d kill himself and Deadpool had already survived that long.

are you nasty

i just cant get over the lobster scene. like his friends are actively begging him, do not get into the lobster tank. please eddie. tom hardy you were in mad max fury road dont do this. and tom hardy looks at his friend like “i know i shouldnt do this. i shouldnt be getting into this lobster tank but i’m going to anyway. i’m already mostly inside. cant stop now. i’m sorry i dont want to be doing this either there’s just no other choice for me.” and then he takes a bg bite out of a live lobster that’s still in the shell and everything. 

tom hardy doesn’t actually know he’s being possessed by an alien yet in the story. he’s just resigned himself to whatever fucking meltdown he seems to be having. he doesn’t even seem particularly surprised that things have gone this way for him. like ten minutes later he finds out his heart stopped working and hes just like “you asshole” and he throws his alien parasite against the wall like a water balloon. and then he just leaves and is immediately kidnapped. what a fucking wild ride tom hardy is on. 

tom hardy’s actual superpower is being the exact same level of dysfunctional no matter what is happening in his life. so when everything’s going ok for him he self-destructs spectacularly, but when literally everything that can happen to a human being happens to him, he does, like, unrealistically well. climbing into a lobster tank and eating a live animal with large claws just like… “well, this is what’s happening to me today. i’m so sorry you have to watch this, man. anyway here goes, i’m going to bite into a living creature with my human mouth and then LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS”

this movie’s fucking killing me from the inside.

Dick Grayson’s Different Variations: An Energy Alignmant Chart

DC is being all gritty and “realistic” and Marvel just had a movie where the galaxy is saved by a dance-off and the power of friendship

Ant-man bathing in hot sauce for bonus damage (2019)

Guess who sucks at pretending not to care.

happy birthday mcu!