I'm Not Afraid This Era Won't Be Remembered, I'm Afraid It Will Be.

Writer's note

It's been a long day. I've been called in to 2 job interviews, for which I'm happy beyond words but, other than that, oh boy, have I had a swell time?

I'll begin with something that's very close to me: literary work. Ever since I learnt how to write I've had a grand vision of my future. It's been my dream to be a great writer and I've always lived in this illusion that I'm good at it. But today I was rejected by a medium-sized company. No, not my professional application-- I wanted to be a volunteer. It's a quarterly magazine. So they said that they had my test writings checked by professionals and they found them inadequate in regards of grammar and authenticity.

The other thing is, well, literature, too. Remember when I said I've had this dream to be a great writer? Yeah, it pretty much fills every second minute of my waking hours. So here's the other story: Yesterday I recieved an answer to a query I sent to a seemingly fitting agent. She wrote that she feels honored (of course), that I contacted her, however, my work is not really for her. She (of course) encouraged me to keep on trying because she did not reject my book because of its general lack of genuineness but because of her own lack of enthusiasm about it. Yeah, it sucks. I know what you're thinking: Well what does one (1) agent matter anyway? Keep on trying, she said that too. So yes. Thank you. I've been trying. I've been trying for over a year with a total absence of fruition in any respect. I've re-written and polished my work but what does it matter now?

I've never said I'm a writer. Never to anyone. I've always believed humility is crucial and so I've never mentioned myself as a writer or artist. I didn't keep my writing a secret but I sure as rain was modest about it. Still, what I feel right now is this: I'm a complete wreck as a writer. Yeah, I'm a wreck that's for granted but why do I think I'm a writer. I never said I was and I've been constantly forcing myself not to consider myself as that. But in despair and disappointment my thoughts betray me. I'm just a sore loser and a presumptuous fool.

I'm not going to apologize for all the dismal things I've written because they aren't dismal. They're meant to teach you something. Well, who am I trying to lie to? They're meant to teach me something. Something I know and yet pretend to never have heard of. In all honesty I have a lot to learn and I've got to let go of big-faced concepts about myself. I'll be small. I'll remain small and I'll accept being that. I'm too young to be big and it takes some time to get rid of one's youth.

An impressive study by my favourite artist :)

I made that this afternoon :)

What or who is perfect?

We all have our models, and all kinds of subjects of admiration. And that is good, to some extent... It makes us push harder or just push at all. If I read a decent piece of literature, it reminds me how much I could be advanced and how many details I could fix in my previous works. And I repeat, it's a tremendous thing. We inspire each other in an endless cycle for we all are role models sometimes and we are the followers at other times.

Could I end it here? Maybe I could but shouldn't or should but just can't... Is the basic idea of perfection purely motivational and constructive? Sadly no. As long as we're moderate and wise, it helps us improve and there's always room for that... But perfection in itself is not a reason for us to act one or another way, or to change. We have to have a vision, a goal and on our way towards them, these small images of perfection will keep us getting better and better.

It's about time for me to end but I just can't leave it out: perfection is a question of the taste of the observing entity. That's why we are so brave to label things as perfect. But it just doesn't exist, at least not in this world. A question of perception. Mathematicians could argue but... Well I don't know what to say of that but I'm always ready for a little discussion...

Bottom line: love the perfect things and know, that to certain people, ones who you probably don't even see, You are perfect, too.

The best thing :)

Wish I had what I needed To be on my own ‘Cause I feel so defeated And I’m feeling alone  And it all seems so helpless And I have no plans I’m a plane in the sunset  With no where to land 

And all I see It could never make me happy  And all my sandcastles  Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that you hear me Let me know your touch  Let me know that you love me  Let that be enough 

It’s my birthday tomorrow  No one here could know I was born this Thursday Twenty-two years ago  And I feel stuck watching history repeating Yeah, who am I? Just a kid who knows he’s needy.

Let me know that you hear me Let me know your touch  Let me know that you love me  Let that be enough

Let me know that you hear me Let me know your touch  Let me know that you love me  Let that be enough

#southbound to Her, to the dentist and to sweet innocent dreams from the past

word

Bill Murray Crashes Bachelor Party, Gives Awesome Speech - Video

This was taken a little while ago at a wedding. She's stunning

All the suck for the awesome

Difficulties may come. Or actually do come. We like to call even the less trying days hard ones, too, but now I'm speaking of real difficulties. As I said, we come across those times.

I'm convinced you know what I'm talking of, when I say being the burn-out one, doing the monotonous routine you swore to never do, dreaming big but always being stuck in second gear... These all are quite common symptoms of a-normal-life.

I've just arrived at the end of one of these periods. It's been a quarter year, that I lived through many sufferings. But I must admit, that most of them were self-inflicted, for all this served an indeed great purpose: the benefit of my personality.

I've been very reluctant towards my studies in mechanical engineering. I grew to hate my uni, and all that came with it. BUT this time has come to an end, when I realised, how incredibly much I've gained from this. I learnt truly spectacular and useful matters, and I've made important acquintaces, valuable friendships. True ones. Much more true ones, than what I foresaw for the period.

All in all, I'm clearly grateful for the thing I hated the most in the past couple of months, since I feel like I've become a better man through them. It makes me delightful to have been able to just remain on the surface.

Oh boy, I'm exhausted, so I suppose this post will end up as some nonsense but I hope, that for some of you out-there, it will mean what I meant...

can you check out my blog?<3 its photography/vintage^.^

I just did and it's lovely :)